True Feelings Of A Cancer Patient (A Therapist’s Guide)

Not all people will understand how hard life is for those cancer patients. Some would think differently about their situations and often misinterpret their actions, responses, and behavior. Yes, not all other people are indeed judgmental. But the majority of them are dealing with cancer patients incorrectly.


Perhaps it is because that is how they see society do it. But in all honesty, the whole point of caring for the unfortunate ones doesn’t necessarily have to be generalized, because no one knows entirely how these patients feel. And even if you try and ask a piece of therapist’s advice, you will realize that you are doing it wrong for those individuals struggling with the disease.

What Others Don’t Understand

One of the sad parts of the whole struggle is when friends and family pity those cancer patients. Often telling them “sorry it happened to you” is something that none of these struggling individuals would like to hear. It does not make them feel better when someone pities them and probably thought about them being weak and vulnerable. They do not want other people to feel sorry about them because it makes them feel bad about themselves too. And that instead of keeping their heads up, they begin to see themselves as a burden.

Cancer patients’ lives are going to change in an instant. With that, they need an excellent method that will help them in the adjustment period. The transition is not smooth, and these patients need the love, care, and support of those who surround them. They need people that will walk them through figuring out how the changes are going to affect them without damaging their personality. What these patients want others to do is believe in them and not feel sorry about their condition. They need those supportive people that will back them up in their journey to full recovery. They need individuals who are going to tell them, “you can do it,” and “we are here for you.”


The Unexpected Reality

“Mental health struggles are real. They can be painful. You may feel alone. In some of the darkest times, you may feel like something is “wrong” with you to the core,” says Erica Thompson, LMFT, LPCC. That is the reason these patients are emotionally and mentally sensitive, and that is the reason why most of them are prone to anxiety and depression. But have you ever wonder what causes their mental illness? Well, cancer patients often believe they are surrounded by people who can always be there for them whenever they need someone. But honestly, it is the worst. You see, a lot of people can promise these patients that they will always be there for them. But in reality, when there is a relapse, nobody will call, text, or do anything to reach out. People might not care at all, and that particular instance is genuinely hurtful. Understandably, a lot of concerned people don’t know what to say or do when dealing with cancer patients. But the thought of just staying by their sides and just saying anything creates a little difference. They are fragile, but they are not stupid in understanding how hard it is for people to adjust to their needs.

Along With The Changes

What people don’t internalize is the patients’ character buildup after a diagnosis. Most of them tend to push people away. But that does not mean they should leave these unfortunate ones behind. Yes, these patients often hold back with the physical, emotional, and mental connection. But that is because they are trying to save themselves for a better moment afterward. It is essential not only for the patient to secure his health, but it is also necessary that surrounding people know their responsibilities as well. “Knowing your risk factors for depression and other mental health diagnoses, and how your mental health may be impacted by the medications you take is a crucial part of taking control of your mental and physical health.” Julia Hogan, LCPC said. And that is very important.


Along with the changes in the lives of cancer patients is the emotional pain they will experience daily. That is due to the painful moments where they can no longer spend more time with their loved ones. Some cases, getting near their family and friends, create sadness instead of happiness. There is a buildup of intense fear in both parties. That is because the patients think they are a burden, and the other ones feel scared they might cause additional damage. The situation builds up anxiety. According to Marla W. Deibler, PsyD, “It’s ‘normal’ to experience some degree of anxiety when stressors are unfamiliar, unpredictable, or imminent.”But for the patients, it is different.

There is always a misconception about everything, and being a cancer patient is no excuse. These people are fully aware of what is happening in their lives. There are certain days they are okay, and there are those moments they are not feeling great. As individuals who want to help them out, we have to make them feel they are loved. We have to thank them for their existence and appreciate their will of making it through the struggle.