In various posts throughout this website, you will see me talking about the benefits of having a spouse when you are a cancer patient. There’s someone who’ll never leave your side even if you are not blood-related; he or she already knows what you want or need before you even ask. Your better half can also serve as your anchor into this world when worse comes to worst.
As impressive as marriage may be for ill folks, however, many individuals who already overcame the disease are still single. That is not because they are not capable of loving or feeling loved, but because they fear many things.
- Getting Divorced
According to Ryan Parks, M.Ed, LPCC, “Our society tells us that if you talk about your issues, express your feelings, or even verbalize you have a mental health disorder, you must be “weak.”,” The ultimate source of the worry of a cancer survivor is the thought that their significant other will divorce him or her after finding out that they had the disease. In truth, some people do that since they either believe the stigmas revolving around the illness or are not willing to be on the lookout forever for the possible recurrence of cancer. Despite that, the ones who have pure love in their system will not take that against you and will even do everything to help you avoid triggering your cancer cells again.
- Dealing With Embarrassment
Having breast cancer in the past, to be specific, can cause a lady to feel unattractive or worthy of a man’s attention even after surviving it. That fear may increase by at least ten-fold, considering you have undergone surgery to remove the tumor. Such a feeling may cause you to avoid getting naked with anyone out of embarrassment; that is why you choose to stay single.
- Talking About Fertility (Or Lack Thereof)
Cancer survivors also tend to shy away from baby talks. The reason is that going through radiation therapy may make them incapable of bearing children. It is excellent, therefore, if you can have a relationship with a man or woman who is okay with not becoming a father or mother, respectively, in the future.
- Being Unacknowledged
David Klow, a licensed therapist once said, “Most people have a loud inner critic which makes their life more stressful.” Perhaps one of the most fearful things that a fighter of the disease may experience is not gaining the support of his or her partner later in life. One might say that there’s no need for an annual checkup as you already got rid of cancer, for instance, yet it is still necessary to ensure that it has not returned. Assuming the survivor cannot find a partner who will care about such stuff, singlehood may become the favored option for long.
- Passing Down The Cancer To Children
Just as importantly, individuals who survived cancer are in fear of passing down the same illness to their children, considering it is possible for them to create one. After all, some cancer types occur because of a genetic mutation that a person can inherit from one of his or her parents.
Remember, however, that there’s only a 50% chance that your kid might acquire the disease. The other 50% denotes that the child may be cancer-free forever. Thus, you may be feeling frightened over nothing.
Staying single should be a choice that a cancer survivor should make if you are happy with being a bachelor or bachelorette and want to remain that way. “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist said. In case you are not even dating or thinking of marrying someone because of a low confidence level or any of the fears above, then you need to work on your self-esteem immediately. You never know, your perfect match may just be waiting for you out there, and you might like being with him or her for eternity.
Good luck!